Current mood:

scared

Friday!!!!!!!!!
Well, I'll be writing less, because now I'll be working 6 days a week. It will keep me out of trouble and it is just for the rest of the month.

My next day off I have to go to court. I've been a nervous wreck about it. The cravings keep eating at my mind. However, I haven't given in yet. I will go to AA tonight after work. I like to go to the candle lights on weekends. I am scared to death about court, and when I want to drink I'll remind myself that my drinking got me into this situation in the first place.

People tell me not to worry. It is just a DUI. However, this trial will determine if I get my license back, (I haven't had it in 6 months now) or if I have to wait until June.

It is hard for me to rely on God right now. I can't see God's face, and sometimes I wonder if he is there. I know other people's stories about how God worked on their heart and life and all that other stuff. I just have no clue on God's path for me.

Well, I'll go to a meeting tonight. Sometimes I wonder how much they work. Every once in a while I'll hear a glimer of hope from them. I much perfer talking to my counsoler. But, I won't go again until next Friday.